Random....

Last weekend i flew to Washington DC to see my Dad. About 3 weeks ago his partner, Linda, for the last 15 years past away. My parents were married for 30 years and when they got a divorce it was a surprise to my brother, sister and I and was not accepted very well. We are a tight group and having something disrupt that was difficult. I have always been very close to my Dad and that relationship was tested during the years that followed the divorce. I felt very torn about maintaining my relationship with Dad, i felt a little like i was betraying my Mom by continuing a relationship with him and definately if i had a relationship with Linda. What i finally decided was that i would take whatever relationship i could have with my Dad, not knowing what he was doing and my children not knowing him at all was not an option for me. It's not perfect, no relationship is, but it works for us. I grew to appreciate that Linda made my Dad happy and that he loved her. It made it much easier to accept her. I learned something about my dad that i didn't know during the last month of Linda's life. He was responsible for taking care of her every need while she was home. He did it. He did it with patience, and tender care and genuine love. I never saw this side of him. I am sorry for the circumstance that allowed me to see it, but i am also grateful for the opportunity to see a part of this man that i didn't know was there.

I didn't fly alone. Linda's daughter Carie flew out with me. I have spent time with Carie before, but not alone and not for a long period of time. We got to know each other and we are very similar in personality. We have become good friends and it is a friendship that i look forward to nurturing and letting it grow. Daddy's closest friend from here went out as well and that was a welcome distraction to the task at hand of cleaning out Linda's things and getting Dad in a position to move. Linda's Daughter, Tiffany, came in from Denver. Together we were able to get things cleaned out, packed up, sorted through and donated. It was a job. Tears were shed, memories were shared and some closure was achieved. I am looking forward to my Dad moving closer to home. He will never move back to Springfield, but he plans to move within driving distance. I want my children to be able to know him better and at least have the opportunity to develop a relationship with him.